History of the Cat God
The central Andes are a region of geographic extremes, a perfect area for cats. In the 1100s, the Incans began to travel north from their highland plateaus, and ran into some cats in a fertile mountain valley. Happy to find a stable source of food, they slaughtered and ate them all. It was there that they also named and made their capitol city, Cuzco, which is a Quechua word. Cuzco means "navel" or "center". But little do you know that it doesn't mean the center of the mountain. Nonono! It means the center of the cat brain, where all the 9 lives are stored!
The Incas gained much, MUCH power, since each cat they ate gave them 9 lives, which means that since a cat has 9 lives, you can eat the same cat 9 times and get 81 lives! But, these people were dumb. They wasted their lives on things like jumping off rocks and killing themselves just to build a bridge. There had to be someone to save the Incas from their stupidity!
By the 1400, the Inca had lost almost all of their land to dumb people like Francisco Pizarro, who wanted all their money, and wanted to build a wall! But, one day a small cat wandered into Cuzco. Incas charged at it, wanting to gain some more lives. The cat though, had better ideas. In a flash of light, the cat transformed into קאַץ יטער, the one and only Cat God!!! קאַץ יטער assassinated the Incas' king, and became their ninth ruler.
With קאַץ יטער, the Incas conquered all of Peru. By 1500, the Incas had an empire that extended 2,500 miles along the west coast of South America, and included what is now Columbia, Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia, Chile, and Argentina. About 12 million people lived there, and the Incas were saved!!!
But, unlike other gods, animal gods had to eat their own "founding animal" to not disappear from existence. This meant that קאַץ יטער had to eat cats, or else he would disappear and never be seen again. So, קאַץ יטער left the Incas in search of a stable cat population. Also, to prevent the Incas from chasing him, קאַץ יטער erased all their memories of him, and replaced them with memories of a fake but great ruler named Pachacuti!
This was the story of the Dog Go- cough cough... I mean.... Cat God!!!!
The central Andes are a region of geographic extremes, a perfect area for cats. In the 1100s, the Incans began to travel north from their highland plateaus, and ran into some cats in a fertile mountain valley. Happy to find a stable source of food, they slaughtered and ate them all. It was there that they also named and made their capitol city, Cuzco, which is a Quechua word. Cuzco means "navel" or "center". But little do you know that it doesn't mean the center of the mountain. Nonono! It means the center of the cat brain, where all the 9 lives are stored!
The Incas gained much, MUCH power, since each cat they ate gave them 9 lives, which means that since a cat has 9 lives, you can eat the same cat 9 times and get 81 lives! But, these people were dumb. They wasted their lives on things like jumping off rocks and killing themselves just to build a bridge. There had to be someone to save the Incas from their stupidity!
By the 1400, the Inca had lost almost all of their land to dumb people like Francisco Pizarro, who wanted all their money, and wanted to build a wall! But, one day a small cat wandered into Cuzco. Incas charged at it, wanting to gain some more lives. The cat though, had better ideas. In a flash of light, the cat transformed into קאַץ יטער, the one and only Cat God!!! קאַץ יטער assassinated the Incas' king, and became their ninth ruler.
With קאַץ יטער, the Incas conquered all of Peru. By 1500, the Incas had an empire that extended 2,500 miles along the west coast of South America, and included what is now Columbia, Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia, Chile, and Argentina. About 12 million people lived there, and the Incas were saved!!!
But, unlike other gods, animal gods had to eat their own "founding animal" to not disappear from existence. This meant that קאַץ יטער had to eat cats, or else he would disappear and never be seen again. So, קאַץ יטער left the Incas in search of a stable cat population. Also, to prevent the Incas from chasing him, קאַץ יטער erased all their memories of him, and replaced them with memories of a fake but great ruler named Pachacuti!
This was the story of the Dog Go- cough cough... I mean.... Cat God!!!!
