I N S E N S I B L E
By: Celeste and Kelly <3
______
“There’s a loneliness
that only exists in one’s mind.
The loneliest moment in someone’s
life is when they are watching
their whole world
fall apart.
And all they can do is stare
Blankly.”
-F. Scott Fitzgerald
______
“I find it interesting how one moment you could feel like nothing- absolutely nothing can stop you from falling apart. But, the next all you can do is wish, wish for all the pain to disappear.”
♥
⇝ One
It feels strange that writing to you
about my pain, is the only thing
bringing me peace.
Maybe this way it feels like
you are actually listening.
How long would it take
for you to actually know,
that all this pain you’re giving me
is slowly becoming more and more
unbearable?
___________________________
⇝Two
You scratched “slut”
all over my locker today.
It also appeared on my desk
for every single class.
Along with other terrible words.
It’s so painful seeing them everywhere.
What did I ever do, to make you hate me
this much?
___________________________
⇝ Three
You must hate every part of me.
I’ve tried so hard to get you to listen.
I would do anything and everything.
For you to stop hurting me.
All you said was, “Stop trying.
Nothing you can do will get me
to stop.”
I looked myself in the mirror today.
And for the first time, I saw myself
as the person everyone knew me as.
Ugly. Fat. Slut. *****.
___________________________
⇝Four
You kept whispering “Slut” in my ear today.
I tried to ignore your hurtful remarks.
But somehow my body can’t seem
To block it out anymore.
Everyone watched you hurt me.
Some laughed along with you.
But, nobody seemed to disagree with you.
Who wouldn’t? Everyone loved you and
Everything you said was always right.
___________________________
⇝Five
I’m truly sorry for whatever pain
I have caused you. Everything that
made you hate me so much.
I kept trying to tell you this.
But, you told me my opinions didn’t
matter and I should stop talking.
So, I stopped.
____________________________
⇝Six
At night
All i can wonder
Is what did i do to deserve this
Maybe it was just me,
maybe I deserve this pain.
I can’t remember the last time
When I laughed and smiled
The world hates me and I hate this life
Is there any reason to live?
_________________________
⇝Seven
You pulled me into an empty room today.
You punched me in the stomach a few times.
I can barely breathe anymore.
It’s okay, I guess I deserve it. Just know,
I never meant to hurt you.
Why do you hate me? Please tell me
so I can apologize for ruining our
friendship.
_________________________
⇝Eight
I keep mulling over the details,
trying to understand,
what I did to make you hate me so much.
The bullying, the words, the loneliness
doesn't hurt as much as you leaving me.
As many times as you have punched me
I’ve hurt myself ten times as much
for losing you.
I don't know why…. But I miss you so much.
_________________________________
⇝ Nine
I miss you so much it hurts to breathe
I remember so much of what we use to be.
Shatters me everytime-
everytime I replay the memories.
When we would laugh at every little thing
being two goofy kids running around,
not caring about anything.
We were unstoppable together
Nothing could bring us down
Or so I thought….
___________________________
⇝Ten
Today is the day when your dad died,
a few years ago.
I wasn’t surprised that you weren’t at
school.
Are you okay? Even though you hurt me
I will always be here for you.
Since you weren’t here, you’re friends
came over and hit me a few times.
I knew you are hurting much more than me.
I’m always here….
_________________________________
⇝Eleven
You came back to school today.
You stood there in all your glory.
While I could barely stand.
Covered in bruises.
You looked at me and I saw something
Flash through your eyes.
Was it concern? Probably not. Nobody
would care about a wh0re like me.
______________________________
⇝ Twelve
I looked through our old s****book today.
Pictures of us.
I miss you so much.
I wonder if you kept the s****book too.
Am I crazy for caring and missing you?
You’ve moved on, made new friends
Yet I’m still stuck in the past.
How did this ever happen?
_______________________________
⇝ Thirteen
Your friends humiliated me today
I stood there with my head bowed.
You stood up for me and told them to stop.
Do you actually care for me? Or are you
just trying to be a hero?
The hero act didn’t last long.
When I was walking home you came over.
You told me you only stood up for me
because you are the only who can hurt me.
That I deserve everything. All the pain caused
from you.
What did I ever do??
______________________________
⇝ Fourteen
As I lay in bed staring at the ceiling
It occurred to me
Maybe you stood up for me
Because you still care in your
own twisted way.
Maybe you said those words not to
convince me, but to convince yourself .
Or maybe I’m just dreaming….
______________________________
⇝ Fifteen
At school today, I found you
in the Janitor's room crying
I tried to comfort you
I brought up everything that makes you happy.
You stood up, wiped your eyes,
shoved me against the door and walked away.
Your friends, never realized that you were hurting
But I will always see….
I will always see through your fake smiles
Because I’m the only one who actually cares.
______________________________
⇝ Sixteen
I finally figured you out.
Your mom tells me you blame yourself for your dad’s death
and you’re hurting so much.
You were drowning in your own pain.
What if- what if you were only hurting me,
To protect me from yourself.
From the monster you claim to be.
______________________________
⇝ Seventeen
There was nothing that you could do
To prevent the accident.
Stop blaming yourself and live.
Your dad, would’ve wanted you to be happy.
To continue with your life,
instead of wallowing in your own pain.
It is ok to grieve,
but you must learn to let it go
Never forget the good memories,
But also make new ones with new people.
Please,
Learn to forgive yourself
And live to be the person
I don’t think I will ever be.
______________________________
⇝ Eighteen
I’m so sorry life has changed you.
I wish you would’ve told me that you were hurting.
I could’ve helped you fight your demons.
I loved you since the day we became friends,
And I never stopped.
Even after all the pain you put me through,
I forgive you for everything.
I love you and I always will
Up until the day I die.
______________________________
⇝ Nineteen
I’m done hiding my feelings.
I know I’m strong enough to
finally confront you.
After you read this,
Hopefully, you’ll let me in
After you read the words I poured
my soul into. I hope you can find
a way to forgive yourself.
Even if you still want to hide
I promise you,
I will always be here for you
Even through death
I will lend you my strength
So that you will never be alone
To fight through anything.
______________________________
⇝Third Person’s POV
On the way to his house,
She saw a little girl running around,
She thought to herself.
“If only I could be a child again,
when life was perfect.”
Mindless of her surroundings,
the little girl ran in front of a car.
Before the car could hit the girl,
She pushed the girl out of the way.
Her second to last thought was of him,
Hopefully he will get a hold of the journal.
And reading her journal
can finally get him to forgive himself.
And her last thought
Was how much she loved him.
⇝ Twenty
(Boy’s POV)
Please forgive me.
You didn’t deserve any of the pain
I brought to your life.
I missed you every single day.
But I couldn’t bring myself to stop.
I was selfish, hoping your pain
would ease mine.
You were numb and I was weak.
I gave into my demons, not realizing
that you were the angel that could’ve saved me.
But you’re gone now. Just like my father.
I don’t have anyone left and I just wish
you were here now, so I could tell you.
Tell you how incredibly sorry I am.
I love you so much, and I was so stupid
For not realizing sooner. You were my best friend,
my anchor, my everything.
Since I pushed you away. I lost another person
Who truly cared for me.
Even though you're not here,
I will regret everything I have done,
But I will try to better.
To be the person worthy of your love
To live enough for the both of us
“
I realized
I was thinking about you,
and I began to wonder
how long you’d been on my mind.
Then it occurred to me:
since I met you,
you’ve
never left.
”
♥
“I’m not supposed to love you. I’m not supposed to care. I’m not supposed to live my life, wishing you were there. I’m not supposed to wonder where you are or what to do. I’m sorry I just can’t help myself, I fell in love with you.
______________
T H E
E N D
By: Celeste and Kelly <3
______
“There’s a loneliness
that only exists in one’s mind.
The loneliest moment in someone’s
life is when they are watching
their whole world
fall apart.
And all they can do is stare
Blankly.”
-F. Scott Fitzgerald
______
“I find it interesting how one moment you could feel like nothing- absolutely nothing can stop you from falling apart. But, the next all you can do is wish, wish for all the pain to disappear.”
♥
⇝ One
It feels strange that writing to you
about my pain, is the only thing
bringing me peace.
Maybe this way it feels like
you are actually listening.
How long would it take
for you to actually know,
that all this pain you’re giving me
is slowly becoming more and more
unbearable?
___________________________
⇝Two
You scratched “slut”
all over my locker today.
It also appeared on my desk
for every single class.
Along with other terrible words.
It’s so painful seeing them everywhere.
What did I ever do, to make you hate me
this much?
___________________________
⇝ Three
You must hate every part of me.
I’ve tried so hard to get you to listen.
I would do anything and everything.
For you to stop hurting me.
All you said was, “Stop trying.
Nothing you can do will get me
to stop.”
I looked myself in the mirror today.
And for the first time, I saw myself
as the person everyone knew me as.
Ugly. Fat. Slut. *****.
___________________________
⇝Four
You kept whispering “Slut” in my ear today.
I tried to ignore your hurtful remarks.
But somehow my body can’t seem
To block it out anymore.
Everyone watched you hurt me.
Some laughed along with you.
But, nobody seemed to disagree with you.
Who wouldn’t? Everyone loved you and
Everything you said was always right.
___________________________
⇝Five
I’m truly sorry for whatever pain
I have caused you. Everything that
made you hate me so much.
I kept trying to tell you this.
But, you told me my opinions didn’t
matter and I should stop talking.
So, I stopped.
____________________________
⇝Six
At night
All i can wonder
Is what did i do to deserve this
Maybe it was just me,
maybe I deserve this pain.
I can’t remember the last time
When I laughed and smiled
The world hates me and I hate this life
Is there any reason to live?
_________________________
⇝Seven
You pulled me into an empty room today.
You punched me in the stomach a few times.
I can barely breathe anymore.
It’s okay, I guess I deserve it. Just know,
I never meant to hurt you.
Why do you hate me? Please tell me
so I can apologize for ruining our
friendship.
_________________________
⇝Eight
I keep mulling over the details,
trying to understand,
what I did to make you hate me so much.
The bullying, the words, the loneliness
doesn't hurt as much as you leaving me.
As many times as you have punched me
I’ve hurt myself ten times as much
for losing you.
I don't know why…. But I miss you so much.
_________________________________
⇝ Nine
I miss you so much it hurts to breathe
I remember so much of what we use to be.
Shatters me everytime-
everytime I replay the memories.
When we would laugh at every little thing
being two goofy kids running around,
not caring about anything.
We were unstoppable together
Nothing could bring us down
Or so I thought….
___________________________
⇝Ten
Today is the day when your dad died,
a few years ago.
I wasn’t surprised that you weren’t at
school.
Are you okay? Even though you hurt me
I will always be here for you.
Since you weren’t here, you’re friends
came over and hit me a few times.
I knew you are hurting much more than me.
I’m always here….
_________________________________
⇝Eleven
You came back to school today.
You stood there in all your glory.
While I could barely stand.
Covered in bruises.
You looked at me and I saw something
Flash through your eyes.
Was it concern? Probably not. Nobody
would care about a wh0re like me.
______________________________
⇝ Twelve
I looked through our old s****book today.
Pictures of us.
I miss you so much.
I wonder if you kept the s****book too.
Am I crazy for caring and missing you?
You’ve moved on, made new friends
Yet I’m still stuck in the past.
How did this ever happen?
_______________________________
⇝ Thirteen
Your friends humiliated me today
I stood there with my head bowed.
You stood up for me and told them to stop.
Do you actually care for me? Or are you
just trying to be a hero?
The hero act didn’t last long.
When I was walking home you came over.
You told me you only stood up for me
because you are the only who can hurt me.
That I deserve everything. All the pain caused
from you.
What did I ever do??
______________________________
⇝ Fourteen
As I lay in bed staring at the ceiling
It occurred to me
Maybe you stood up for me
Because you still care in your
own twisted way.
Maybe you said those words not to
convince me, but to convince yourself .
Or maybe I’m just dreaming….
______________________________
⇝ Fifteen
At school today, I found you
in the Janitor's room crying
I tried to comfort you
I brought up everything that makes you happy.
You stood up, wiped your eyes,
shoved me against the door and walked away.
Your friends, never realized that you were hurting
But I will always see….
I will always see through your fake smiles
Because I’m the only one who actually cares.
______________________________
⇝ Sixteen
I finally figured you out.
Your mom tells me you blame yourself for your dad’s death
and you’re hurting so much.
You were drowning in your own pain.
What if- what if you were only hurting me,
To protect me from yourself.
From the monster you claim to be.
______________________________
⇝ Seventeen
There was nothing that you could do
To prevent the accident.
Stop blaming yourself and live.
Your dad, would’ve wanted you to be happy.
To continue with your life,
instead of wallowing in your own pain.
It is ok to grieve,
but you must learn to let it go
Never forget the good memories,
But also make new ones with new people.
Please,
Learn to forgive yourself
And live to be the person
I don’t think I will ever be.
______________________________
⇝ Eighteen
I’m so sorry life has changed you.
I wish you would’ve told me that you were hurting.
I could’ve helped you fight your demons.
I loved you since the day we became friends,
And I never stopped.
Even after all the pain you put me through,
I forgive you for everything.
I love you and I always will
Up until the day I die.
______________________________
⇝ Nineteen
I’m done hiding my feelings.
I know I’m strong enough to
finally confront you.
After you read this,
Hopefully, you’ll let me in
After you read the words I poured
my soul into. I hope you can find
a way to forgive yourself.
Even if you still want to hide
I promise you,
I will always be here for you
Even through death
I will lend you my strength
So that you will never be alone
To fight through anything.
______________________________
⇝Third Person’s POV
On the way to his house,
She saw a little girl running around,
She thought to herself.
“If only I could be a child again,
when life was perfect.”
Mindless of her surroundings,
the little girl ran in front of a car.
Before the car could hit the girl,
She pushed the girl out of the way.
Her second to last thought was of him,
Hopefully he will get a hold of the journal.
And reading her journal
can finally get him to forgive himself.
And her last thought
Was how much she loved him.
⇝ Twenty
(Boy’s POV)
Please forgive me.
You didn’t deserve any of the pain
I brought to your life.
I missed you every single day.
But I couldn’t bring myself to stop.
I was selfish, hoping your pain
would ease mine.
You were numb and I was weak.
I gave into my demons, not realizing
that you were the angel that could’ve saved me.
But you’re gone now. Just like my father.
I don’t have anyone left and I just wish
you were here now, so I could tell you.
Tell you how incredibly sorry I am.
I love you so much, and I was so stupid
For not realizing sooner. You were my best friend,
my anchor, my everything.
Since I pushed you away. I lost another person
Who truly cared for me.
Even though you're not here,
I will regret everything I have done,
But I will try to better.
To be the person worthy of your love
To live enough for the both of us
“
I realized
I was thinking about you,
and I began to wonder
how long you’d been on my mind.
Then it occurred to me:
since I met you,
you’ve
never left.
”
♥
“I’m not supposed to love you. I’m not supposed to care. I’m not supposed to live my life, wishing you were there. I’m not supposed to wonder where you are or what to do. I’m sorry I just can’t help myself, I fell in love with you.
______________
T H E
E N D
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