Hello Class,
Professor Rob here. Today we are learning about fire.
Fire is the rapid oxidation of a material in the exothermic chemical process of combustion, releasing heat, light, and various reaction products.[1][a] Fire is hot because the conversion of the weak double bond in molecular oxygen, O2, to the stronger bonds in the combustion products carbon dioxide and water releases energy (418 kJ per 32 g of O2); the bond energies of the fuel play only a minor role here.[2] At a certain point in the combustion reaction, called the ignition point, flames are produced. The flame is the visible portion of the fire. Flames consist primarily of carbon dioxide, water vapor, oxygen and nitrogen. If hot enough, the gases may become ionized to produce plasma.[3] Depending on the substances alight, and any impurities outside, the color of the flame and the fire's intensity will be different. (Wikipedia)
Memorize that for your exam in 20 minutes.
Here are some pictures of fire:
This is fire
This is bigger fire
Now you might be thinking to yourself "how do I make a fire". Well dummy there are 2 different methods of making fire. All have proven to cause fires, and to set the world aflame (badum crash, insert ****py joke sound here)
Main way to fire
Using flint and steel:
Step One: Grab flint, grab steel
Step Two: Rub them together
Good, now you know how to rub things together *wink*
Step Three: Wait for sparks, you should feel the spark. Kind of like you get that feeling when you see Saito's shirtless beach picture
My bad, off topic here, uh
Step Four: Watch as you made fire
congrats cave man (or woman)
Using flint and steel:
Step One: Grab flint, grab steel
Step Two: Rub them together
Good, now you know how to rub things together *wink*
Step Three: Wait for sparks, you should feel the spark. Kind of like you get that feeling when you see Saito's shirtless beach picture
My bad, off topic here, uh
Step Four: Watch as you made fire
congrats cave man (or woman)
Another way to fire:
Gender Reveal Party:
Ah gender reveal parties. The time for a family to waste time and money to tell the whole world about the gender of a kid. Parents often learn for the first time. Reminds me of my gender reveal party for myself on my 10th birthday. I was glad to finally learn my gender!
Gender Reveal Party:
Ah gender reveal parties. The time for a family to waste time and money to tell the whole world about the gender of a kid. Parents often learn for the first time. Reminds me of my gender reveal party for myself on my 10th birthday. I was glad to finally learn my gender!
You won't learn my gender, that is my secret.
Now for a brief history lesson.
In early September, a family (we leave them anonymous because they ruined people's lives) had a sparking gender reveal party that burned down a lot of the west coast. This is a touchy subject, so I will refrain from making jokes here. Ok, back to this blazing topic, gender reveals are a good way to start fires.
Now that you have seen how successful this method is at making fire, here is how you can make your own fire with gender reveal parties.
Step One: Get a large amount of hay, gasoline, balloons, colored sand (should be the color of the baby's gender, but doesn't have to be), and a knife
Step Two: Put hay under the feet of the parents (this is for decoration, pictures gotta look fye amirite)
Step Three: Put colored sand into the balloons, it doesn't matter if the balloons float or sink
Step Four: Pop balloon with knife
"oh but you forgot to use the gasoline", shut up, i'm still teaching.
Step Five: Celebrate with your family for the thing's gender
Step Six: Clean up mess
OH NO.... the dumpster and landfills are closed due to COVID-19... What do you do? You can't place the balloons and sand in the trash, so you do the next best thing, burn it.
Step Seven: Dump about 10 gallons of gasoline onto the sand, hay, and balloons.
These act as perfect fire starters
Step Eight: Stand back and admire your work
Congratulations,
You have started a fire. Good job soldier
To recap all I have selflessly taught for you:
I have taught you how to tie your shoes, and now I have taught you how to make fire. The next lesson will be "all about pigs" - @SuperPiggeh
Please take time to vote on if you learned anything, but if you didn't learn anything, you need to just quit
Step One: Get a large amount of hay, gasoline, balloons, colored sand (should be the color of the baby's gender, but doesn't have to be), and a knife
Step Two: Put hay under the feet of the parents (this is for decoration, pictures gotta look fye amirite)
Step Three: Put colored sand into the balloons, it doesn't matter if the balloons float or sink
Step Four: Pop balloon with knife
"oh but you forgot to use the gasoline", shut up, i'm still teaching.
Step Five: Celebrate with your family for the thing's gender
Step Six: Clean up mess
OH NO.... the dumpster and landfills are closed due to COVID-19... What do you do? You can't place the balloons and sand in the trash, so you do the next best thing, burn it.
Step Seven: Dump about 10 gallons of gasoline onto the sand, hay, and balloons.
These act as perfect fire starters
Step Eight: Stand back and admire your work
Congratulations,
You have started a fire. Good job soldier
To recap all I have selflessly taught for you:
I have taught you how to tie your shoes, and now I have taught you how to make fire. The next lesson will be "all about pigs" - @SuperPiggeh
Please take time to vote on if you learned anything, but if you didn't learn anything, you need to just quit
